How do you get the courage to start something new and stay motivated?

In front of Union Station in LA

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Below is a question asked by a subscriber. I answer questions a few times a week. They’re fun, collaborative, and help me reflect. I hope they’re interesting to you. If you have a question, you can ask me anything here.

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Question

How do you get the courage to start something new and stay motivated?

I recently lost my job after coming back from maternity leave.
I have (what I feel) is a good idea for my own business but I don’t know how to get the courage to get out there and I also find it hard to get myself motivated to start. Having a baby attached to me 24/7 also makes it difficult as I only have the evening hours of 9pm-2am to work on this.

Any help would be so appreciated.
Also I love your positivity, Grant. It is refreshing to see on social media.

All the best!

Answer

I’m sorry about your job. I know the anxiety and stress that can come from that. It’s tough.

struggling to get started

I also know what it feels like to have aspirations and struggle to get started. If you’re like me, that is food for self criticism. I see my inaction as proof that I don’t have what it takes to be successful which makes me discouraged which makes it even harder to get started.

For me, the struggle often comes from being too attached to outcomes. I make too much meaning of failure. A failure means that I’m not smart enough. It means that I won’t achieve my goals. It’s much more comfortable to sit with what could be than to face what is.

The problem here is telling myself stories that aren’t true:

• Failure defines me

• This is the only way to be successful and feel fulfilled

So what is true?

• Failure does not define me

• There are many paths to a happy, successful, and fulfilled life

• Creation is iterative. Regardless of whether it’s a business, a song, a relationship, or an answer to a question, creation happens in the process.

• We are only in control of what we do

• Failures allow us to move onto something else

• We will be okay :)

To get out of this mindset, I try to detach myself from the outcome by focusing on what I control. When I started posting on social media, I committed to posting a video every day for 30 days. The goal was to be consistent and learn. To be clear, I only did this after spending a year being too scared to start.

staying motivated

I get motivation from progress and talking to people. I am trying really hard to keep and build momentum. It’s partly why I push myself to post most days. Progress motivates me.

I have a few friends in similar phases of life. I talk with them often and lean on them when I’m struggling with motivation.

business specifics

You can get quick validation for most business ideas. One of the ideas I had last year was an app that would help people get to know their parents better. After struggling to get started, I texted a half dozen friends and told them I was interested in helping people get to know their parents. For $20 I would ask their parents questions and record their answers. I asked if they were interested or if they knew anyone who would be. No one took me up on it!

At first I felt like shit, but after a day or two I felt relieved. I didn’t waste much time and could move onto something else I was excited about. I got that approach from Million Dollar Weekend. These types of books are trite. They sell a dream (just look at that title!). However, they can still be helpful.

closing thoughts

I would be remiss not to mention that I don’t even have a job let alone a kid. You have very real constraints on your time and energy that I do not have. My struggle to get started is solely an emotional one. Whatever you decide, be kind to yourself :)

Thanks for reading.

- Grant